In this reflection we tell the difference between tending and draining.
They told you love takes work. And you believed them. So you worked. You showed up when you were tired. You had the same conversation for the hundredth time. You pushed through fights that went in circles. You compromised until you forgot what you originally wanted.
And still you wonder: is this what love is supposed to feel like?
Love does take work. Real love requires attention, maintenance, repair. You cannot just coast on feeling forever. At some point you have to choose the person, actively, even when the initial rush has faded.
But there is a difference between work and depletion. Between effort and erosion. Between building something together and carrying it alone.
Work feels like investment. You put something in and something grows. Even when it is hard, you can see what you are building. You feel like partners, side by side, constructing something that matters to both of you.
Depletion feels like loss. You put something in and it disappears. The same problems keep returning. The same needs go unmet. You are working, but not together. You are working to maintain something that is not sustaining you back.
Both involve effort. But one nourishes and one drains. One builds you up even as it challenges you. The other just takes.
If love feels like work, ask yourself: what kind? Are you investing or just spending? Are you building or just maintaining? Is the effort mutual or one-sided?
Love should ask something of you. But it should also give. If all you feel is tired, something is out of balance.